March 19, 2015
We got to see you for the second time a few weeks ago and I still can’t believe how much you GREW! I know you have absolutely no idea about the world yet, about me or your dad, or really about anything except staying cozy warm in there… But I’m already so proud of you. It’s a strange feeling because I’ve never been this proud of anyone before. You’ve only been in existence for 14 weeks and 4 days and I’m already prouder of you than I am of anyone else in the world. When we saw you during the ultrasound, you were flipping around and kicking your little legs all over the place like you were putting on a show. I’m already so in love with you that I don’t know what to do with myself! And I loved getting to see bits and pieces of your personality, even though it’s still so early.
I stare at the ultrasound pictures of you at least once a day, trying to imagine you in my tummy and trying to figure out what you’ll look like. Will you have your dad’s curly hair or my straightish hair? Will you be good at sports like him or will you freak out if a ball flies anywhere near your face like me? I’m sorry in advance if you’re one of the smallest kids in your age group for awhile…that was a problem for both me and your dad. But don’t worry, he hit his growth spurt (I never really did, but hopefully you take after him haha) and I know you will too. It’s not so bad being small, anyway. You get all the best hiding spots in hide-and-go-seek. 🙂
Part of me wants you out and in my arms right this second so I can protect you more consciously than I can right now…but the other part of me knows that the second you’re out, you’re going to start growing up right before my eyes and that will break my heart just a little bit (no matter how proud I know I’ll be of all your accomplishments). I already get kind of sad looking at the 12 month old onesies in the baby departments. I don’t ever want you to be anything but my baby! But I know you will grow up into such an amazing person and there are SO many things I’m excited for in our future. Playing pretend, having conversations with you, doing Bible studies with you, cheering you on in whatever you’re interested in (sports, academics, theater, whatever), teaching you all about the Gospel, showing you how to swim, making up a secret handshake with you (your dad and I have one already so we need one too), and so much more. I’ll be so proud of you through it all.
I love you so much, baby. You’re already such a big part of my life and I just can’t wait until you’re here so I can hug you so tight and love on you forever. Keep up all the hard work in there! You are covered in a multitude of prayers from so many people who absolutely adore you already. See you soon, my little love!
P.S. We made it to the second trimester! Yay for us!!!